Mike Largely Unknown

Mike

This weekend I'll be travelling two and half hours north to Saskatoon to see a concert with Mike. I don't know Mike.

Mike is a friend of a friend. That friend had an extra concert ticket that he couldn't use, so that's where I come in.

Here's what I know about Mike: 1) His musical tastes are similar to mine, and 2) Mike is a dancing machine. I know this because I've been out with Mike and have seen him dance the night away.

That's another reason why I don't know Mike, you can't get to know someone if they're dancing all night. I'm not much of a dancer myself (old war injury and too many white genes), and even if I was, Mike and I probably wouldn't have talked much on the dance floor.

I've already decided I can't pack a cooler with my favorite beverages and haul it along in Mike's car because, you never know, Mike might be a neat freak, and I'd like to get off to a good start with Mike. I've already erased any inner hope I have of stopping at the ice cream shop I like on the highway. Not only could Mike be a neat freak, but he could also hate ice cream. He's very thin.

I don't know what kind of car Mike drives, but I hope it's not a Hummer, since I've agreed to pay half the gas. I also hope it's not one of those tiny Smart cars, since I'm a very large man who likes to stretch his legs. If Mike has a motorcycle of some sort, that might be interesting.

It would be especially interesting if Mike's motorcycle has one of those side compartments that I could ride in and not have to put my arms around Mike. Also, I would be more comfortable eating ice cream in the side compartment since it's its own compartment, kinda autonomous from the rest of the motorcycle.

If Mike pulls up in a red sports car, which I think he will (he's young and single), I'll assume he's a fast and dangerous driver. In that case, I'll make sure my seat belt is done up tight against my pelvic bone and hope for the best while blowing extra kisses to my family.

If Mike's car is gray and practical, I'll assume he's a very nice person, without a temper. If it runs on diesel, I'll assume he smokes drugs and the night will be far more interesting than I first expected.

If his car is an old beater and there's garbage strewn about the inside and it smells, I'm going to ask Mike if we can stop for ice cream.