JAMES ENDORSES TIM HORTONS COFFEE

There is an argument brewing between me and many of my friends: Where should I buy coffee? There are now three camps: Tim Horton's, Robin's Donuts, and (new to the list) MacDonald's.

I'm a fatboy, and as such, I enjoy the Tim Horton's "triple-triple." That's code for lots of cream and sugar because fatboys really don't like coffee, we'd rather be eating cake.

Tim's get's it right. No matter what size of coffee you order the proportion of cream and sugar is always just right. That means, if you order an extra large, which all fatboys do, because that's the only size of anything we know how to order, you don't get a watered down proportion of cream and sugar and have to taste the undessert-like bitterness of coffee.

Robin's has a problem with this, and, as they are less popular than Tim's, have coffee that's not as fresh most of the time. They also tend to serve it boiling hot. I don't want to cradle my coffee for a half hour before I drink it. I'm also not into foreplay.

McDonald's is completely out to lunch when it comes to adding condiments to coffee. Most of the time they don't even do it themselves. They leave it to you to stir in the cream and sugar and make you ask for more. To me, it's like giving you a Coke and having you add the sugar and the bubbles yourself while you're trying to drive away.

Thus, Tim Horton's get's my coveted endorsement as best coffee for the discerning large man on the go. I shall expect my thousand dollar Tim's gift card in the mail in short order.