Galaxy Cinemas Regina

The fourth in a series of Classic Film Nights featured One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest last night at the Galaxy Cinemas in Regina. All four nights have been fraught with serious technical issues. Last night's could not be ignored by the audience, who mostly left early on.

The theatre couldn't figure out how to hook up their all-important front center channel (dialogue channel) to their system which was playing the movie off of Blu-ray. The only dialogue you could hear came through the LFE (subwoofer) channel. I was praying they'd turn on the English subtitles because I couldn't understand a word.

I've been told by friends that the ENTIRE run of Avatar at the Galaxy had no Left front channel audio. IT PLAYED FOR SIX MONTHS practically. James Cameron would have rolled over in his money if he knew this. Cineplex Odeon simply doesn't care.

To add insult to injury, the left and right channels were reversed (when a helicopter flew on the left of the screen, it was heard on the right, for example.)

In this day and age when home theatre systems are ubiquitous, why can't a real theatre get it right, let alone even realize their films are sometimes unwatchable?

I'm yearning for an excuse to go to the theatre instead of watching these films at home, which would be a technically-superior experience even on my modest system.

Katy Perry Sesame Street Ban a Lesson In Early-Childhood Boobucation

"Eyes up, Elmo"

By now you've heard the argument that the Katy Perry ban on Sesame Street for showing too much cleavage is somehow ironic since most of the heterosexual characters on the show are completely naked, or at least pantless (Big Bird.) But my wife points out that young children like breasts. They're attracted to them for non-sexual reasons.

Why shouldn't Sesame Street and other television shows geared towards young children include more breasts? Not only would it have children paying better attention to the educational content, but fathers everywhere would spend more time with their kids.

The character of The Count, for example, could count boobies. The Number of the Day could frequently be "2." An exploration of cup sizes could help young children learn the alphabet.

I propose a new puppet called "The Boobie Monster." He'd look much like Elmo with his eyes all wide and bugged-out, and he'd have extra-big hands with a lazy tongue that would dangle out his mouth. Kinda like my Uncle Ed, before they took him away.

BIEBER SPOTTED AT SEWAGE PUMPING STATION

JAMES UPDATE EXCLUSIVE: When Justin Bieber spent two days in Regina for a concert last week, he was spotted at various wholesome teen venues in town, including a laser tag establishment and a Dairy Queen. But recent reports have also placed him at one of the Queen City's most unsavory locals: a local sewage pumping station located on McCarthy Blvd. in the city's west end.

"He was here for over an hour," said April Holton, 15, the daughter of a City worker, who was called in by her father to see the celebrity. "He was obviously distraught, the place really stinks, and he was looking for something important. But he still made time to smile at me and check out my boobs." said the Martin Collegiate student.  "He's super-cute!" she added.

Holten also brought her boy friend Josh Turbel to see the Ontario-born musician. Turbel says Bieber was at the sewage pumping station on a mission to find a missing stool that was accidentally flushed from his downtown hotel room.

McCarthy St. Sewage Station (Stockton Stock Photos)

"He was really pissed at his body guard dude for flushing the stool because the stool was really important to him. I guess it looked just like (musician) Usher's mother and Bieber wanted to take a picture of the turd to show Usher for his birthday."

The City of Regina did confirm that Justin Bieber did spend some time at the McCarthy pumping station, but would not say why the performer was there or if he located the stool in question.